As a therapist to teens, there are two needs I tell parents that all children have: to be pursued and to be enjoyed. Living in the modern world means technology surrounds us all. For parents, this often means navigating a complex relationship with their teens who are immersed in screens and devices. Establishing a strong connection with a teenager might feel like an impossible task, but it is achievable with sincere effort and genuine understanding. Finding the balance between engaging in the digital space and setting technology boundaries is an art. I want to provide some guidance to parents with knowledge I have gained from hours spent one-on-one with teens and parents of teens in the counseling room.
Embrace Technology Together
Instead of seeing technology as an obstacle, view it as a way to connect. Technology is NOT going away. The harder you attempt to ignore, the more difficult you may find to use it as a helpful tool. Participate in your teen’s favorite online games and social media platforms. If your teenager enjoys playing a popular game like Fortnite, offer to join them for a few rounds. Let them teach you and Invite you Into this part of their world. Ask them questions about their favorite game characters or what makes them excited about the game. This engagement can create a bridge of understanding and feeling of deeper connection with your child.
Encourage Open Discussions
Creating an open and inviting space for conversation is key to connecting with your teen. Regularly check in with your teenager about their day, interests, or even the pressures they face at school. For example, you might start with, "What was the high and low of your day?" This opens the door to talk about friendships, schoolwork, or even their feelings about social media. By listening without judgment (not Interjecting with a life-lesson moment. This Is one of my biggest complaints from teens! Sometimes they just need a listening ear) you build trust and affirm to your child that you take a genuine Interest In their world.
Utilize Digital Tools for Connection
Don't shy away from using technology to engage with your teenager. Share relevant articles, funny videos, or relatable memes that connect with their interests. For example, if you come across an article discussing an online game they like or a viral TikTok dance, send it to them. This not only shows that you care about what they’re involved in, but can lead to engaging discussions. Asking them about their favorite music, TikTok creators, or YouTubers will increase their feelings of being known.
Technology Boundaries
Be Patient and Understanding
It's crucial to remember that adolescence is a time of significant growth and change. Teens face so many challenges, from social pressures to academic stress. As a parent, exhibiting patience and empathy is essential. Acknowledging and validating their struggles during stressful times, such as exam weeks, will foster an environment of support in the home. Teens who perceive their parents as empathetic are more likely to find safety and belonging with you rather than seeking it from the world.
Resources
I am going to include some of my favorite technology-related resources below. Click the links to be directed to their websites. You are not alone in navigating relationships with your teen in the digital age!
Warmly,
Grayson Craig
Grayson Craig Counseling
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